"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
04/18/2014 at 20:43 • Filed to: HOW TO
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"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
04/18/2014 at 20:43 • Filed to: HOW TO | 4
| 6 |
Welcome. So, You've always wanted to be a Ricer Huh? You've always wanted to brag about your minimal horsepower, and useless gauges that mostly serve the same function. Keep reading, I'll tell you how to live that dream
Step One. What says "I want to race you" more than a stuffed animal hanging out of the rear bumper of your Car? Extra points for hanging a Dildo.
So. You've got your Stuffed Animal/Dildo hanging from the back. Something's fucky. You need more than that. Wait a second, Was that a Park Bench for sale at Autozone? No silly, It's just a massive wing. You need this more than the city does.
Hold Up. Is your Mom's can of Folgers unattended? Quickly now! Empty it, and stick it on. That's an extra 50 Hp, and the feeling of driving a Weed Whacker. You need this.
Did you just watch Fast and Furious? Oh You. Wait a second. Can that Fly-Zapper be applied to the bottom of your Auto Civic. I think so!
This'll fit, Won't it? Who cares if it's unsafe. You are a RICER. You don't back down. You're an individual. Safety doesn't matter at all.
Well, You've had a journey. There is one step left. A shitty body kit.
Oh, How could I forget? Spinner Hubcaps.
Well then. I hope you're well on your way to becoming a Ricer, and I swear if Kinja fucks up the text/image I'm going to drive my head through the wall.
Of cource there are more steps! But remember, this is just a guide to set you on your way to Prison time, and extended hospital stays due to street racing.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS: I'm not biased.
Thanks Obama! Try to match Text-Pictures the best that you can.
Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius
> jkm7680
04/18/2014 at 20:57 |
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you forgot the off center racing stripe. Even more effective when is an outrageous color on a boring color car. Electric blue over sand beige.
JR1
> jkm7680
04/18/2014 at 20:58 |
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BRO! How could you forget to mention my computer chip and stage 3 tune! BRO those are the customizations that make the ladies get wet! I can even beat a 1975 Corvette BRO!!
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> JR1
04/18/2014 at 21:43 |
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Haha, I love how these people throw around stage #s for their tunes despite not having the slightest idea of what they mean. The tuning manual I have for my engine has tables upon tables detailing what goes into each stage referred to in the book for 1.4, 1.6, 1.8, 2.0, Turbo and N/A variations of the Twin Cam. Throwing Stage 3, Stage 4 around without that is beyond useless :p
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JR1
> BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
04/18/2014 at 23:05 |
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It has always confused me. Where are they getting this from NFS?
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BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> JR1
04/18/2014 at 23:41 |
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Probably. They see it in a game, which uses "stages" simply as a game mechanics, and think it's the same in real life.
JACU - I've got bonifides.
> jkm7680
04/19/2014 at 00:53 |
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Ricers. Panty-dropping since 198... well never actually.